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Does Callum go on the potty?

Callum, The Climber

I am a knight and I wave my sword around until Mummy tells me to stop. I am Mowgli and run round the table singing ‘we march from here to there’. Everyone joins in. Mummy and Daddy march behind me like elephants but Grandma steals the show by pretending to be a gorilla. I’ve seen the Aristocats at least a thousand times and don’t want Mummy to put any other film on. I always sing along with all the songs, much to Daddy’s annoyance. He always wants me to choose a different song... I go to school now. My teacher’s name is Inge. My best friends are Sebastian and Charlie. They are both bigger than me and we have lots of fun doing things together. Such as pretending to be Superman and jumping off the climbing frame. That was Charlie’s idea. Everything was going really well until Sebastian broke his arm and had to go to hospital. His arm is in plaster now, which makes him look really tough. I told Mummy that I wanted to have my arm in plaster too but she didn’t think it was funny. She said that you shouldn’t invite accidents.

But I did have an accident yesterday. I needed a poo and climbed up onto Mummy and Daddy’s toilet. I’m not sure what happened but suddenly my bum was hanging in the water. I shouted loudly to Mummy to come and help me. She came running into the bathroom but laughed so much that it took ages before she pulled me out! I got very cross with her and kicked her. It wasn’t funny!

Callum’s mummy about potty training 

Full-of-energy Callum has done it again! He climbed on the toilet behind my back, just like he climbs on everything else. Suddenly I heard him screaming and when I rushed into the bathroom he had more or less fallen down the toilet. His legs were sticking up in the air and he was propped on the edge of the toilet by his elbows. This made me laugh so much that I almost couldn’t pull him out. His feelings were well and truly hurt! Callum absolutely hates us laughing at him but this was so funny… I almost thought it a shame that I didn’t quickly go and get the camera first. The look on his face, the little elbows that were sticking out either side of the toilet, the legs sticking up in the air… Anyway, we washed him down and then I showed him how to use the seat from his potty on the big toilet. Knowing Callum, the potty is now a thing of the past and he will only want to use ‘the big toilet’. He has put the step-up stool in front of the toilet and constantly climbs on and off it, even when he doesn’t need to go to the toilet.

Anyway, he pees standing up. When he saw his daddy standing there one day, he asked him whether all boys do it like that. When his daddy said that they did, he decided that from then on he would too. Preferably together with Daddy. As soon as Jim goes to the toilet, Callum follows him. They then stand one either side of the toilet and pee at the same time. It’s a funny sight but Callum enjoys it so we let him. I suppose it’s a good way of ensuring male bonding. I have to clean the toilet more often but I don’t mind. We really had to laugh yesterday. Jim went and sat on the toilet with the newspaper and a bit later was joined by his son… with a book. He put his potty next to the toilet and started ‘reading’. They absolutely refused to let me take a photo – it could, of course, be used to embarrass Callum when he’s older – but it is a sight I will never forget!